By Eunjin Chang
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March 17, 2025
When Jesus was with his disciples, many people followed him. He said that if they wanted to follow him, they must deny themselves, pick up their cross, and follow him. This statement was perplexing and difficult for them to understand. In those days, the cross represented the most terrifying, horrific, and shameful way to die, as the person crucified would be stripped naked and hung on a cross. Even the day before Jesus' crucifixion, the disciples were arguing among themselves about who was the greatest and who would sit at Jesus' right and left hands when he restored the nation of Israel. They had no idea what Jesus would do for mankind and the eternal implications of his actions. When Jesus was arrested, all the disciples fled except for Peter. Peter, the outspoken disciple whom Jesus loved dearly, stood at a distance, warming himself by a fire made by the servants of the high priests while anxiously watching what would happen to his master. Would Jesus call down fire from heaven to destroy those who mocked him and demonstrate his power? Peter's curiosity was not rooted in belief but rather in doubt mixed with hope. When a female servant accused him of being a disciple of Jesus, Peter denied it three times, even cursing. Then, when the rooster crowed, and Jesus looked at Peter, he realized his true self. He had been testing Jesus instead of truly believing in him. Peter wanted to prove himself to Jesus and the other disciples, hoping to witness Jesus' power and understand events in his own way. When Peter recognized that he was testing Jesus and felt fear even before a female servant, he was ashamed and ran outside, crying bitterly. From this account, we see that even Jesus' best disciple, Peter, became a coward when faced with difficult circumstances that could cost him dearly. When Jesus calls us to deny ourselves daily and pick up our cross to follow him, it cannot be done through our own power or will. This transformation requires a complete change from within, facilitated by the Holy Spirit. Later, when Jesus restored Peter, he became a mighty Apostle for the church and ultimately died as a martyr, along with most of the other disciples. None of them considered their lives precious in the cause of Jesus. How is this possible? When a person believe in Jesus for the first time, they are saved by hearing the word of God. The word enters their soul, and the Holy Spirit brings it to life in their spirit. Although the spirit becomes alive, the soul (mind) and body often remain entrenched in old ways of living. Denying oneself is a daily practice at the level of the soul. However, our survival instincts make it difficult to deny ourselves. Jesus' command goes against the very fabric of our soul's existence. Yet, as new believers begin their walk with Jesus through the Holy Spirit, they learn the teachings of Jesus while the Holy Spirit searches their hearts, helping to train their souls to become followers of Christ. We aspire to be good disciples of Jesus; however, we often find it nearly impossible, even with the best intentions. This is where the blood that Jesus shed while carrying the cross is crucial, allowing us to become true disciples of Jesus. After Jesus was whipped and beaten, the crowd demanded his crucifixion. Although Jesus did not sin, the crowd was incited to demand his death. When Pilate washed his hands and claimed to have nothing to do with Jesus' death, releasing Barabbas instead, his cowardly decision and the crowd's behavior reflect how cowardly we can be as we follow Jesus, labeling ourselves his disciples. Peter and the rest of the disciples ran away, leaving Jesus alone to carry the cross to the hill. As he made his way to the crucifixion site, the crowd jeered, threw trash, and spat at Jesus despite having welcomed him just days earlier with cheers of "Hosanna! The King of the Jews!" That same crowd, under the influence of mob mentality, turned against the true King of the Jews. Jesus did not have to carry the cross; it was the cross of Peter, the disciples, and all mankind. Nevertheless, Jesus took upon himself that cross after receiving beatings and wearing a crown of thorns because he wanted to be an example of what he had said: "Whoever wants to follow me must deny themselves and take up their cross." Jesus denied himself, even though he was God, and humbly carried the cross to Jerusalem. Today, you can visit the Via Dolorosa, the path where Jesus carried his cross to Golgotha, marked by seven churches along the route. It is said that Jesus fell seven times, and at each place he fell, a church was built in his memory. As he carried the cross toward Golgotha, Jesus bled continuously from the wounds inflicted upon him. Each drop of blood that fell on the way to Golgotha was shed unjustly because Jesus was innocent. Matt 27:32 “And as they came out, they found a man of Cyrene, Simon by name: him they compelled to bear his cross.” Mark 15:21 “And they compel one Simon a Cyrenian, who passed by, coming out of the country, the father of Alexander and Rufus, to bear his cross.” The person that the Roman soldier gave the task of carrying Jesus' cross was a person named Simon from Spain. Many scholars claim he was a diaspora Jew who came to Jerusalem on his holy land journey to enjoy the feast. He prepared many years to come to this feast. When he came to a street in Jerusalem, he heard a crowd jeering and in an uproar. As his curiosity brought him to the center of the crowd, he was faced with a man with a crown of thorns on his temple and without any form or shape, as he was completely drenched in blood. As Simon was forced to carry the bloody cross of Jesus, many thoughts were going through his head. What if the soldiers at the crucifixion site relate Simon to being crucified as well, as Jesus' blood on the cross, and probably gotten onto Simon's clothes? There might have been a possibility that when Simon arrived at Golgotha, the Roman soldiers there might have made a mistake in crucifying Simon, as it was a norm for the prisoner to carry his own cross to be crucified. There were no SNS, internet, or phones at that time, and it was a real possibility that the soldiers might mistakenly crucify Simon at Golgotha. Simon's nice clothes and his plan for the afternoon were ruined as he came closer and closer to the crucifixion site. When he arrived, he saw two robbers already crucified and in great pain. As he drops the cross onto the ground, he finds his new clothes drenched in his sweat and the blood of Jesus. This was definitely not part of his plan but forced upon him. As Jesus walked up behind him, Simon saw Jesus' bloody body lying helplessly on the cross and in pain as the Roman soldiers began to nail his hands and feet onto the cross. What thoughts were going through Simon's mind at that time? The soldier who wrote the title "Here, the king of the Jews" nailed it onto the cross of Jesus, and Simon became fascinated with who this person Jesus was. Later, we find out that he and his entire family became great leaders who played vital roles in establishing churches worldwide. Had Jesus not allowed Simon, who did not know what was going on, to carry Jesus' cross, we could have given all kinds of excuses for not carrying our own cross. But because Simon carried Jesus' cross, then he had no relation to Jesus; we can effectively proclaim that we, too, can carry our own cross and follow Jesus. The blood Jesus shed for us while carrying the cross is the power that gives all of his disciples the ability and courage to carry our own cross. When we see that even Simon, a nobody, carried the cross up, we can be courageous enough to carry our own cross. The power of Jesus's blood that he shed on the way to Golgotha gives the reason and power for all disciples to live a life as disciples of Jesus. When we begin to meditate, pray, and apply the blood of Jesus, which he shed for us on the way to Golgotha, we will be strengthened by the power of the blood of Jesus and can receive the courage to carry our own cross.